What’s keeping you from fulfillment, success, and happiness? What are you holding on to that is holding you back?
For those of you who haven’t listened to my live speech called The Power of Letting Go that I did at MicDrop Studios in Miami on May 5th, 2019, here is the live audio version.
This is my personal account of how I became the hero of my own story. It’s about letting go in sobriety so you can move on to a new life of love and healing.
Letting Go In Sobriety
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. As a life coach I hear this all the time. I can’t stop drinking. I can’t stop doing drugs. I can’t get out of this dysfunctional marriage. I can’t quit this job that I hate. But it’s not really about I can’t. It’s about holding on to negative things in your life that you’re afraid to let go of.
I was afraid to let go, and what I was holding onto almost killed me. If you’re listening or reading this today and are unwilling to let go, then my story is for you.
It all started when I was eight years old. My father told me it was my responsibility to protect my sisters. When the opportunity came for me to come to stand up for my sister, I got punched in the stomach. I was terrified and couldn’t breathe. All I could think to do was run away.
That day, the hero died, and the victim emerged.
I’ve been running away ever since. I stopped standing up for myself. I felt weak, scared, and small, I tried to become invisible. Because I was so insecure, I became a target for bullies.
Then when I got older, I discovered alcohol. I finally realized what was missing was liquid courage. Alcohol removed my insecurities immediately. I felt happy, free, and confident. I also added drugs to the mix, and I had a fantastic time until the consequences started to catch up with me.
At some point, I lost control. I couldn’t stop for my first marriage. I couldn’t stop for my business. I couldn’t stop for my own survival. Only when I thought I was going to die of a heart attack did I come to my knees and pray to God.
Take me out of this world or help me get clean.
My prayers were answered with a moment of clarity that guided me to sobriety.
Fast forward sixteen years later, my life is beyond my wildest dreams. I met my current wife. A year after marrying her, I launched The SHAIR Podcast (now The Recovery Revolution) with 1.6 million downloads. I impact and inspire people all over the world. I am a speaker at AA and NA conventions. I have a Facebook group with over 5.5 K members, a recovery membership community, and a coaching platform. I work from my home in Costa Rica. It’s hard to believe that 16 years ago I prayed for death.
What was I holding onto?
I thought it was the drugs and alcohol I was unwilling to let go of. I thought it was the lifestyle and the identity I had built around using. I thought it was because life would be boring without drugs and alcohol.
But the truth is what I was holding onto was the anger, bitterness, resentment from all the childhood bullying. I wanted justice. I wanted someone to pay, even if the one who paid for it was me.
But justice was never going to heal me. Only love did. I discovered that the road out of addiction and the path to wholeness and healing is through unconditional love. The love of God, the love for my family, and for the people in recovery. Because of love, the victim died, and the hero emerged.
I am the hero of my own story. What is the legacy that you want to leave behind?
If you’re listening or reading this, I urge you to do these 3 things:
- Let go. Release everyone and everything that does not serve you.
- Go searching for love. Find it in friends, family, coworkers, support groups, or even a coach.
- Ask for help. Be open, honest and vulnerable. Humble yourself and reach out.